Once Upon a Baby by Shari Guess Guest Post

Guest post by Shari Guess

Adoptive Relationships 101

One of my favorite things about the open adoption of my son, Garrett is the amazing relationship that I have developed with his birth mother, Susan and her family. In the beginning, we didn?t start out envisioning that we would have much of a relationship, but truthfully, I?m so grateful for the concept of open adoption because from the moment she placed her wee babe in my arms I knew that she was family forever!

Mine isn?t an uncommon story in the realms of open adoption these days and while not every open adoption story is full of happy endings, the chances are sure increased by the very existence of the concept.

There are a few things I have learned from a decade-long adoptive relationship with a biological parent. These are some highlights:

• Every side will have different time frames. Times of opening more and times of opening less. Think of it as two steps forward/one step back.
• Begin with the end in mind. You will most likely have a relationship of some sort the rest of your life. Everything you do today will count in a tomorrow.
• To nurture a relationship, you have to TRULY CARE and strive to find out about who that other person is and what their goals are.
• Remember important days! Birthdays, Anniversaries, Graduation, Placement Day, Father?s Day and especially remember Mother?s Day!
• Keep your promises! If something is bothering you, you have to speak up! No one is a mind-reader.
• Boundaries: You MUST keep private information private! Be especially careful with social media!
• Patience, Faith and Prayer for each other. Give the Lord time to do His work!

One of my favorite quotes is from author Russ Elkins, author of Open Adoption, Open Heart, and he sums it up perfectly:

?Before placement occurs, it?s really hard to know how you?ll feel, and it?s hard to know how everyone else involved will feel. After all, adoption is something unique you never experience anywhere else in life. Make it your goal to be open to the feelings of other people involved. Think about how you would feel if you were in their shoes and go from there. Above all, understand that the process is emotionally taxing for everyone, not just for you. When everyone considers everyone else, open adoption is one of the most beautiful things this world has to offer.?

I am certainly a better person for having experienced the joy of my adoption journey. Thanks to open adoption, I truly believe that my son?s birth mother Susan would echo my sentiment. The same might not have been said of a closed adoption many years ago. Sometimes evolution is good!

Once Upon a Baby: A Tale of Adoption by Shari Guess
A heartwarming tale of LDS Adoption. Follow a child?s journey from the Pre-existence to his family?s home on Earth. The divine guidance of the Savior, along with the love and prayers of both birth and adoptive parents are gently and lovingly portrayed in this tender story of the ultimate ?Happily ever after?.

About the Author: Shari Guess is a proud, first-time children?s book author and lives in rural North Texas where she is ?Mom? to her beloved 9-year-old adopted son, Garrett. Happily married to her husband Walter for going on 13 years they share their cabin-in-the-woods with a small herd of Great Danes and farm animals. Shari is currently a part-time real estate agent and property manager and prior to marriage worked for over a decade in the music business, spanning from Los Angeles to Nashville. She wore many hats as a journalist and publicist representing multiple recording artists, magazines and music publishing companies, along with being a part-time performing artist and songwriter. Her hobbies include choral, Americana and rock music, martial arts, photography, travel and anything in the mountains.

Connect with Shari Guess on Website ? Facebook ? Twitter

Giveaway

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Source: http://cuzinlogic.com/2012/11/adoptive-relationships-101/

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